Growing with Grief: National Grief Awareness Week

Every year the 2nd to the 8th December marks National Grief Awareness Week.

This year, the theme ‘Growing With Grief’ acknowledges that, after a loss, we can't go back to the person we once were, but can instead grow into someone new, shaped by love, memories and resilience.

At Healthwatch Kingston upon Thames, we have worked with community organisations to understand local people’s experiences of grief, loss and bereavement. We heard about what people value in the support they receive and how challenging it can be to access what you need, when you need it.  

Experiences of bereavement, grief and loss in Kingston upon Thames

Grief is a normal reaction to bereavement and many people find that their inner resources, combined with support from family and friends, are sufficient to help them manage their distress and the life changes and adjustments triggered by loss.

However, general awareness and understanding of grief is often lacking, which can leave bereaved people feeling lost and misunderstood. Additionally, bereavement is associated with risks to health and wellbeing and can give rise to a wide range of needs.

In 2022, Healthwatch Kingston (HWK) and Kingston Voluntary Action (KVA) were commissioned by South West London Clinical Commissioning Group to undertake research into people’s experiences of bereavement services in Kingston. We found that while it is well acknowledged that good support, advice, up to date and relevant information and loving care for the bereaved is an important aspect of coming to terms with loss, the range of services tends to be ad hoc and dependent on what resources are available to fund them, or difficult to access when they are most needed. 

Building on our Bereavement Services and Support in Kingston - Community Engagement Report, we worked with community organisations across the borough to identify gaps in support.  

“I felt numb, not sure what to do, but I needed someone to acknowledge my pain and try to understand me.” 

We wanted to better understand how culture, language, faith, belief and life philosophies shaped experiences of grief and the support received.

"If they don’t understand our traditions, it’s hard to trust them with something as personal as grief."

Participants came from diverse backgrounds, were of all ages, and had different experiences of grief. Loss was characterised in different ways, including bereavement, the loss of a loved one to either addiction or long-term recovery, the loss of a caring role and the sense of identity it brings, pregnancy loss, and cultural displacement.

"Initially, I needed human guidance, support, contact, and advice on next steps after my loss, plus information on any charities and resources in my local area." 

We heard how people characterised good support as local, easy to access, human, compassionate and timely. For many, knowing what support was out there and available to them was a challenge to accessing what they needed, when they needed it. Concerns were raised over waiting lists and the imposition of time-limits on grief support.

“People who actually respond and don’t just leave you on a waiting list. It is important that when you seek help, someone is there to listen. If the response time is too long, you may shy away from getting the help and support you need.” 

The need for practical guidance was highlighted, with participants reflecting on the toll on finances and the burden of ‘death admin’ – arranging a funeral, registering the death, dealing with the estate – while navigating grief.

Physical symptoms such as exhaustion, sleep disturbances, brain fog, and stress-related illnesses such as high blood pressure were reported. Some GP services were inconsistent or dismissive of grief-related health concerns, with a preference for prescribing medication instead of addressing emotional needs. Others noted how attending a series of clinical appointments could trigger emotions and exhaust them.

Our work around grief and bereavement is ongoing, and as we continue to engage with communities across the borough, we have heard how important it is to be able to have open, and supportive conversations about loss.

Taking an active role in opening the dialogue is the first step to ensuring services understand and meet the needs of local people.